L.O.V.E & H.8.T.E

Love of My Life

2009-07-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

So this is me and the love of my life. We have had our fair share of ups and downs, and been to hell and back in our relationship through the years, but in the end it's only made us stronger. We have said and done our share of stupid things that we can't take back, but we are learning from our mistakes and it's making us into a amazing couple. He is someone I wouldn't trade for the world. You don't find guys like him these days. I am so glad to have him back in my life, and were not messing us up this time around, he is my first and only true love. I love you babe!!!!!

Country...The Good Life

2009-07-15T13:05:00.000-07:00

So as most of you all know I am a country girl. I listen to everything, but country music is my favorite. If you were to go through my iPod, over half of it is country. I love the outdoors, camping, fishing, hunting, going mudding, hanging out with friends out at the lake, having bonfires, working outside. When I'm out in the middle of B.F.E which most of you would call it, it's like a piece of heaven to me. It's so quiet and secluded and your in your own little world out in the country. You have open skies, I remember during Upward Bound we went on a field trip to Chesco's families farm, and I remember me and Stacy walking out by the field in the mud after we had a bad storm and just standing out in the field under a beautiful sunset and just taking it all in. For me being out there it's like I'm in my own environment, the country life is like a stress reliever for me, it's so amazing out there. I have liked country boys & country music and just the country in general ever since I was little. Country music has a meaning behind every song, and I can relate to a lot of country songs with situations that have happened in my life. Most people think that out in the country it's just dirty and boring but really it's not, but then again I like mud wrestling and doing all that stuff, it's all about what you make of it in life. I would choose living in the middle of no where in the country rather than livin' in town or the city any day. I love going to rodeos and watching PBR with all the amazing talent all these people have.The Country life is absolutely amazing.

~Country Girls Do It Better~

My UB Team

2009-07-14T17:41:00.000-07:00

Well the Upward Bound Summer Program, is coming to an end here soon. This picture is of me and my amazing team I had this summer. I couldn't of asked for a better team then the one I was put in. We are all so different from one another in so many ways, that each of us will take a piece of one another with us, that made a impact on us this summer. My team had it's ups & downs, just like most the teams up here did this summer, but of course it's normal. I love each and every one of these girls for the little aspects they have that made them into the individuals they have grown to become, and are continuing to become. Then we have my team leader Chesco, in my eyes she was the most unique team leader Upward Bound had this summer. She may seem like a weird one off the bat, but if you get to know her, and who she is and not just base her off the outside, but truly get to know her she is truly a incredible person. All the teachers I have had this summer are GREAT! Each and everyone of them has helped me grow as a person in my life. I took something from each of them, that I will carry with me throughout my life. I just wanted to say thanks to everyone in Upward Bound this year, it's been a wonderful summer! We all love you guys!

When You're Broken

2009-07-13T09:38:00.000-07:00

"BROKEN" By, Lindsey Haun

Wake up to a sunny day, not a cloud up in the sky
Then it starts to rain, my defenses hit the ground
And they shatter all around, so open and exposed
I found strength in the struggle
Face to face with my trouble

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken

Little girl don't be so blue
I know what you're going through
Don't let it beat you up
Hitting walls and getting scars
Only makes you who you are
Only makes you who you are
No matter how much your heart is aching
There is beauty in the breaking
Yeah

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken

Better days are gonna find you once again
Every piece will find its place

When you're broken, when you're broken

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken
Oh, when you're broken
When you're broken
When you're broken

Why Does Life Have To Be So Hard?

2009-07-11T21:50:00.000-07:00

I am going through so many emotions in my life, where I am at the point that I dont know how to handle them. I feel almost lost in my own little world. I'm a emotional rollar coaster. I've always been one of those people who put on this tough front and fake smile to make everyone think that everything is ok. When in reality, it's not. Deep down inside Im hurting, lost, and confused. I make choices in my everyday life to make others happy and not to dissapoint them, but when will I start making choices for me, and for what I want in my life, and say to others when they look down on me for not making a choice that they wanted me to, to say "hey, for once I am doing this for me, because this is something I need to do." and not care and live in the moment of finding some sort of peace within myself. Im always trying to make everyone proud of me, I never really stop to say hey go do something to make yourself happy for a change. And everytime I try doin that I always end up hurting someone in the process. I cant win. I'm 18 now, so when am I going to start making choices for me, and only me, and stop worrying so much about others? Reality is setting in more and more each day. Im considered a adult now, a lost and confused one, in need of finding herself. And I dont want help doing it from anyone, because I have to search within myself, and no one can help with that because its something only I can do. I love everyone who has stuck by me through all the struggles, happiness, and so on. But now I have to start making decisions for me and for my life, and if I make a choice you dont like, promise me you wont look at me any differently and still love me or care for me like you always have, and just relaize I am doing this for me, and there would pry be a good reason as to why I make some of the choices I will in life. I just needed to get all that out........Im going to bed now. Thats been bottled up in me for a few months. Thanks for your time.

My Country Girl Stacy!

2009-07-07T13:35:00.000-07:00

So this girl is like home slice. She is my peanut butter to my jelly, she is the wind beneath my wings, the pop to my tart, the star to my burst, the blow to my pop, damn I could go on and on about this girl. She is like my sister from another mister. I met her through upward bound my 1st year and got closer as the years have passed. I love this girl!!! I am glad to have her as my roomie. Without her I pry would be lost up here. Her & I are a lot alike in many aspects. Were both country girls, like the same things, have gone through the same things in life, and were there for each other through it all. It's hard to find people like her to have as a friends these days. If anyone were to mess with her, it would pry strike a nerve with me and piss me off. She is truly someone amazing in certain aspects. If you don't know Stacy, you should get to know her, it would be worth your time, trust me.

Finding My Feet?!?

2009-07-07T13:19:00.000-07:00

So I was reading this blog about a guy who wrote a book called "Finding My Feet." It was quite interesting, it's a book on poems that he had wrote since the mid-90's and made them into a book. The book cover has like a picture of his feet over a sky blue color. It's interesting, you should go check it out, it's not a everyday kind of book. Some of his poems have been put in magazines. And was privately distributed up until now.He is very proud of these, so don't be a stranger, go check it out!
Finding My Feet

R.I.P Robbie-You're in Our Prayers

2009-07-06T13:35:00.000-07:00

Well as most of you know by now, Robert O'Neal took his own life on the morning of July 5th 2009. Robert was a friend to everyone, and was always there for people. It didn't hit me till today that he is really gone. I can't stop crying, it hits me out of know where. I have lost a few friends due to suicide or other deaths. I don't know how to handle losing someone around my age group to something like this. If you were to meet this kid, he always put on this happy go lucky attitude. But deep down he was going through a lot in his life that he really didn't share with a lot of people. He made a impact on me, there was something about him that just lit this spark for me in my life. Losing a friend at this young of a age is never easy. Every song that I have listened to today has brought tears to my eyes. All I see is his face and his little grin, questioning why did this happened? Could we have done something to help so it wouldn't have come to this point? I'm going through so many emotions, I don't know how to handle them. We all should keep him and his family in our prayers, it's never easy losing a son, or anything of that matter. Pray for them, and if you see them around go up and give them a hug, support during these hard times is always a good thing. Robert was loved by a lot of people. He will ALWAYS be REMEMBERED and NEVER forgotten! So don't be afraid to let your emotions out, its not a bad thing. Just remember he is in a better place now, and he is safe. WE LOVE YOU ROBBIE!!!!!!!!!!!

Upward Bound Summer 09"

2009-06-30T13:41:00.000-07:00

Well so far this summer I have met a lot of cool, down to earth people! I've also made a lot of new friends. Upward Bound is a great opportunity that if anyone were offered it, they should take it! You get to go on amazing educational trips like the one some of us are going on here in a few weeks to Washington D.C. While some of us are also going to South Dakota, both trips will be fun! I personally think that Upward Bound opens many doors for people in life, and can totally form a person into someone better in certain aspects. I can't complain about being in this program. It is truly amazing and I wouldn't be who I am today without the help of this program!

Oxy Clean Man....Dies?!

2009-06-30T12:58:00.000-07:00

Oxy Clean man died of a sudden death shortly after Michael and Farra's death which I thought was pretty crazy losing all these people that the world knows. I remember the 'OXY' man buy his loud booming voice about buying his product called Oxy Clean! Then we lost Michael due to what is suspected to be a over dose, then Farra because of her illness. CRAZY STUFF!

Life is Tough

2009-06-29T16:59:00.000-07:00

Life can be really tough, especially for a teen growing up in the society that we live in today. Back in the day life was like a fairy tale compared to now days.... Everyone knew each other, and were friends with one another and got a long, there was no fighting or anything, no partying, life was laid back, and worry free compared to now. Now days kids have to deal peer pressure like drinking, drugs, sex ect. Kid's these days live in a society based off of T.V, Radio, Video Games, & Movies. Our lives are all based off of influences and pressure of others. I grew up in a home where my Dad was always on the road and was hardly ever home, my Dad beat my Mom in front of me, and abused me at times as well. My Dad would always come home having a new girlfriend & cheat on my Mom. I grew up in a tough house hold, but I was too young too understand exactly what was going on at the time. I was adopted by my step-dad back in 2002 and took his last name and my real dad lost all his rights as a Father to me. I remember them questioning me asking me if this was what I really wanted by getting adopted and I said yes, although I did not fully understand what the whole process ment.... I couldn't talk to my Dad or have any contact with him till I tunred 18. I thought adoption ment just taking my step-dads last name, but in the end it was all worth it and come to find my real Dad never really did truly care, as much as I wanted him to he never did. If I ended up getting raised by him today I would pry be on the wrong road in my life right now. But I'm lucky because I have two parents who would take a bullet for me and do anything to see me suceed in life. And I have no regrets about anything. Thanks Mom & Dad! I love you guys!

Weekend!

2009-06-26T13:53:00.000-07:00

Well it's finally Friday! Home for the weekend, get some down time, spend time with the family & friends. Having fun at UB now. So just rolling with it one day at a time.

Redneck 911

2009-06-24T13:13:00.000-07:00

Typical Redneck Phone Call!!!!

"On My Highway"

2009-06-23T09:06:00.000-07:00

"On My Highway"

"This song is a song I heard when this C.D came out last month that has a meaning to me about my life, and how I can related to it. Everything said in this song I can relate to rather it had been in my past of even in my present, this song is definetly my song about my life and the true meaning behind it...." ~Kayla Weideman~

On my highway the yellow lines

Disappear from time to time

And I wound up on the wrong side of the road

On my highway I go too fast

Afraid that I might finish last

I hugged the curve too hard and lost control

Oh you never know which way it's gunna go

But what a feeling, chasing the sun

Living my life like a shot from a gun

Laughing a little bit more with every mile

Oh what a freedom racing the wind

Dying to know what's around the next bend

Smiling as I watch the years roll by

I'm learning how to take it day by day on my highway

On my highway I missed some signs

And left a damn good love behind

I see her in my rear view like a ghost

On my highway I've broken down

Cried when no one else was around

And prayed that God would save my soul

Yeah I've Paid a lot of heavy tolls

But what a feeling, chasing the sun

Living my life like a shot from a gun

Laughing a little bit more with every mile

Oh what a freedom racing the wind

Dying to know what's around the the next bend

And smiling as I watch the years roll by

I'm learning how to take it day by day on my highway

Yeah, yeahWhat a feeling out on the run

Drinking up the rain

Soaking up the sun

Laughing a little bit more with every mile

What a freedom, like a sail in the wind

Not looking back, not forgetting where

I've beenSmiling as I watch the years roll by

And I'm moving on from my mistakes,

And I'm learning how to take it day by day...On my highway.

~Jason Aldean~

PBR

2009-06-22T13:26:00.000-07:00

I found this article interesting about a PBR rider. In this particular article, it compares PRR and NASCAR and how they're different in more ways then you think. How people think that bull riding isn't a sport when truly it's pry one of the toughest out there today. You're taking a risk every time you get on a bull of life or death every time you saddle up on the bull. Well there is a little about my article go and read it if you're interested in stuff like this.....

~Kayla~ aka (K-Dubb)

2009-06-22T12:51:00.000-07:00

http://www.cabelas.com/home.jsp;jsessionid=CYREGWQYZJKH3LAQBBISCOVMCAEFEIWE?_requestid=80522

2009-06-18T13:23:00.000-07:00

Well hey there again, Im kind of addicted to this thing, it's pretty sweet lol. I thought it would be stupid but I love it! It's like having a online journal lol. Anyways, today is going pretty good, today went by quickly and has been a amazing day actually lol. And to top it all off, tomorrow is Friday, which means Im going home for the weekend to spend time with my family, and just to relax!!! I need some down time & freedom for a few days. But Im getting used to Upward Bound, and sticking it out, made some new friends, and got closer with some older friends. Well Im going to go and work on my page and add new things on it. Leave a comment.
~Kayla~

Day 3

2009-06-17T17:18:00.000-07:00

Day 3 of Upward Bound, I guess you could say its going..... Best time of UB is being in dorms relaxing doing your own thing, although I hate stayin in the dorms.....Ugh!!!! I really can't wiat for this weekend. Im stoked.... Miss my bed, MY LIFE, my family, and doin what I wanna do. Anyways, before I start goin off on everything, Im going to start talking about something else.... My day today went by pretty fast normally the middle of the week does..... Hopfully tomorrow does the same so I can get my weekend started..... Need to catch up on my sleep, and all that jazz.... Anyways, Im sittin here in the Writing Lab, listenin to my iPod touch, music helps me unwind. It relaxes me and puts me in my own little world..... Im so lost at times..... Driving around got my mind off things it let me just let all my emotions go, but now I cant just go out for a drive, and it really sucks, I want more freedom up here..... Anyways study hall is almost over, then were going to go out and play sports with the UB group.....So peace. Leave a comment......

~Kayla~

Just Another Day

2009-06-16T17:08:00.000-07:00

Well Im sittin here in Study Hall doing this as a homework assignment for Blogging class. So anyways. Today went by pretty quickly, thank goodness! I hope the rest of the week goes by fast now so I can go enjoy my weekend at home. Really missin the whole sleepin in thing and doin my own thing, and coming and going as I please at my house. But there are a lot of cool peple up here this year. It's my senior year, so Im trying to enjoy it....
~Kayla~

This is a Test - My First Time Blogging

2009-06-16T13:14:00.000-07:00

This is my first time blogging......Yee!!!! I'm sitting beside THEE COOLEST MOCKIE!!!